NOTE: The writer is totally against hurting women and pre-marriage sex. ONLY use this on your potential soulmate. If you want to be a player/heart breaker/sex goddess/etc, search for other article elsewhere.
Yup, we all have at least a friend who we want to move to the next level with. Either you're romantically interested since Day-1 (most likely) or develop that feeling along your so-called 'sincere' friendship, it bites to be in the friend zone. Anyway, kudos to the first group; at least they have the audacity to try, although it leads to different directions.
Before we go further, let me remind you that once you're in the friend zone of your special someone, it's nearly impossible to make her feel the same. But you do have a chance provided you're patient enough applying the steps given later on and don't snap in the process.
So next time, be a good scholar of love and learn the right way to approach 'the one'. That matter will be discussed in some other time. Let's move on to the tips...
1. Share your problems with him/her (besides not getting him/her)
The more problematic, the better. The bigger loser that your are, the more effective this will work. Maybe you get dismissed, get fired, or having a fight with your parents; maybe something smaller like you're fugly, people push you around or you su*k in Chemistry. Kindo like a soul searching. Mine was simply about being a sinner, nonathletic and economically challenged. Trust me, as a friend, she'll try to comfort you (just as friend, for the time being) Whatever it is, DON'T LIE, for God's sake. Don't tell me your life is perfect, loser. Only a loony got no problem. It must be real, must be big enough to trigger your next step.
2. 'Start a revolution from your bed', and inform him/her
Most of us tend to neglect the latter part. Both are equally important. I myself, once started to change to apply this step but forgot the 'inform' part. It wasted 3 months, I guess, to get her noticed. The painful part is almost everyone noticed, except her. Grrr. Tell her something like you wanna quit skipping class, go to the mosque more often, quit smoking, hit the gym, stop over-spending, etc. This works best when she notice the change of behavior (short term) and the positive result (long term). Again, DON'T LIE. 'The game' is not about the most outstanding pick-up lines and most expensive gifts; it's all about adding your self-value and being a better person. Stick consistantly with your resolution. Mine was hitting the gym (which is easy to get noticed long and short term), going to the mosque more often (which the rumor easily spreads around ASAP) and having a side-income. My mistake was I didn't inform her, thus making this process time-consuming. Don't repeat my mistake.
3. Avoid him/her, or spend less time with him/her.
This is crucial to get out of the friend zone. The old saying goes;"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" (I love to use this excuse on my English lecturer when I skip class). The same concept use when a player 'pretend' act or be really busy. It shows that you have something going on in life rather than just hanging out with her. This shows that you have excitement in life and she's missing it. By doing this, you also develop the feeling that she's losing you in a way. Make her feel what it's like to be without you. If she ask you what's wrong, just tell her that you're 'kindo busy and cannot wait to catch up with her, but just not now'. If she's not asking, just act cool and be patient. When I try this, it's quite hard to 'avoid' her. Let's just say it's hard to say no to a goddess. Felt very pity to her when she wanted explanation. Eventually, I succeeded. It kills me softly seeing her without having her. It's all about mindset; how bad you want something. Good for me, morning, evening and midnight are outa the question for us. No more breakfast together coz I have to jog. No more outing together coz I have to pump that iron. No more overnight together coz I have to sell nasi lemak and wake up early next morning. Trust me, your fondness will pay off.
4. Look your best
Now, my resolution allowed me to change my looks. If your change is nothing about building muscles, getting chissled or trim the fat, change the way you dress and have a new nice haircut (consult the hairstylist). It's not hard to learn about fashion. You non-muslims can get a toughtful tattoo. Just don't be a fashion victim. Make your change natural. You can turn from a nerd to a rapper or an emo guy, but again, DON'T LIE. Like don't dress like a rapper when you don't know a thing about Hip Hop. No need to throw away your core value. Be yourself; your better self. You can stay nerdy, but dress appropriately for the occasion. Learn how to wear formal when needed. Learn the latest hip fashion for you casual activity. Don't go jogging with those soccer mom sweaters and striking yellow tracksuits. This aint' the 80's. For me, I just raise up the volume of my core value. I got this spiky haircut and goatee (consult a hairstylist) Formal: classic-colored-shirt (plain/vertical stripe, white/light blue/gray/light pink/black) and pants (usually dark), plain/stripe tie (with colors blended with your clothes/pants or 'outstand' the suit. NO CARTOON), leather shoes. Casual: added my accessories (rings, spike, bracelet, wallet chain), usually black T, chissled jeans, Cons/skater shoes (see Randy Orton street cloth). Take notice your face, body type, your skin color and what suits them.
5. 'Bump into' him/her once in a while (Back At One)
This is the fun part. You'll be getting a lot of praises and how much she misses you/can't wait to hangout again. Once in a while, ok. For me, 2 times/week is cool. Always be the one who end the meeting. This is part of DOHV (demonstration of high value) which I'll explain in other posting. Keep her wanting more. In this process, change the way you treat her meeting by meeting. Treat her as a girl, not a friend. You should know the difference since that's your basic problem here. How do I know? Coz you keep reading this crap. Better, diversify you degree of attention. It'll drive her nuts. Tease her naughtily.
Like text to her: "Hey, I jz came back frm d theater wid my family & cant stop thinking of u...". She will ask what theatre and why.
You answer: "Disney On Ice. there's this cute Donald Duck. His mouth looks like your beak. I can't tell the difference."
DON'T APOLOGIZE for it. Whatever her reaction is, you just touched her heart in an 'unfriendly' way, giving her an emotional roller-coaster. Laugh in the face of danger. Look at the funny sides of problems occured, but solve it. It shows that you're patient and makes you funnier. At this stage, read her signs in her eyes, body language and speech,like when you back at one. This is the stage I like to call back at one. Like going back from the start. At this point, she was dying to meet me, and she said she 'won't take no for an answer'. She's with this "there's something we need to talk. Actually We should do this a long long time ago" kindo stuff.
6. Say "yes" when you think he's/she's ready.
Say "yes" after she shows enough IOI (indication of interest) You can find tons of info on reading signs on the net. If can, let her set up the meeting/date, no other clique members (otherwise it's not a date). If she show you IOI but did not set up the meeting, she's waiting for you to set it up. Don't get devastated if she say "no". After showing IOI, I assure you she's genuinely busy, unlike before.
7. CONFESS
This is not my strong area since I rarely do it. But just BE SINCERE. If you really find a suitable 'confession line' in the net, make sure yu really mean it. The problem with good lines is people overuse it and if you're not the first to say to her you're busted. I waited for her to ask my availability. In my case, it goes:
At the KLCC Park after dinner. This is exactly what we said.
I: So, What is that something we need to talk?
she: My life is totally empty since you're married to the gym, hihi (lol, she's still funny in serious situation. That's why I love her). You seem to getting what you want in life... [awkward silence] Are you really that happy?
I: What do you mean? (don't challenge girls too much on making a confession. They're easier to give up than guys in this area)
She: Well. Now that you're a rockstar (the exact words she said); lose my favorite pillow (my belly); get bigger guns (arms); found your way back to God; have more money; is your life really that perfect ? ... (No!)[awkward silence]
I: [gazing at the stars] Know what? After my so-called soul searching, I really get to know myself better. I realized, life is not about how far my journey is; but how deep my journey is into my inner self. Of all this ages men try to reach the Heavens above, I realize that Heaven is a place on Earth... [turning to her]... right in front of me! No! It's not perfect. Some part of me is still missing. A piece of my left rib was still missing (we believe that Eve was created from Adam's left rib). All this while, I tried to complete myself, Now I know, the piece of my left rib is right in front of me. I'm never complete without you, dear... [looking deep into her eyes; real awkward silence] Please be with me... be my Heaven... and gimme back my rib, please! [The rest is for us both to cherish]
That's what I feel about her. Be sincere during a confession. It keeps the originality. You don't wanna get busted using pick-up lines from the net, right?
So there you have it, the 7 steps of turning your friend into your soul mate. I don't guarantee this will work for you like the dating gurus out there. I'm no pro. But it works for me. The best way is to pray for the best and prepare for the worst. the worst thing can happen is only a rejection. If this happen, just move on and never see her again, if you can survive. If you still want her, go back to Step 5-7 WITHOUT LOOKING NEEDY. If you don't want here anymore/found someone else, continue being her friend, IF you can survive. In the process just find another prospect to diversify your portfolio. Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
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